Elastic Heart
by ExhaustedGoat
Summary: "I know it's hard to believe, but all gems are bound by the same rules. The same emotions that keep Ruby and Sapphire together are the same emotions that can split a gem apart. You mustn't let this consume you." Title by Sia's Elastic Heart which I don't own. An angst fic on an idea that emotional turmoil can affect someone's gem like combat can. Reviews are encouraged!
1. I've Got Thick Skin

The fridge light stunned the young gem as she stared into it; peering among the shelves for the fifth time in ten minutes. She could still hear Pearl's daunting coos of, "No matter how many times you look Amethyst, nothing is going to grow in there."

"Just watch," she grumbled, throwing the door shut- only to watch it gently settle onto the rubber stopper which prevented glass jars from rattling, or any satisfaction. Things that opened deserved to be slammed out of frustration; what good is a door if it can't be slammed? Groaning, Amethyst turned her back to the fridge, folding her arms. She allowed her gaze to float upward, onto the painting of Rose.

All of the gems missed Rose. Amethyst remembered playing with her soft, lofty pink locks, and how they smelled like home. She remembered how Pearl began incessantly fawning over the infant Steven- constantly polishing his gem, learning to feed him, learning to keep the temple spotless. Pearl became ragged. Garnet once found her in the corner of her room, limbs knotted, face tear-streaked, hand cupped over her mouth as if uttering a sound would cause the roof to crumble. In the upper corner of the room, floating in a gem bubble, was baby Steven, wailing. Needless to say, they sent Pearl on a few solo missions to try and regain her composure. Garnet, initially, split up. Ruby and Sapphire swore they would never make Garnet again, as there was no need for solidarity or leadership when their perfect leader was already gone. Ruby punched the left arm of the temple clean off, sending it crashing into the tides below, and Sapphire lost herself- floating up into the open palm of the temple's right hand, forming near glaciers that could have caused the temple to lose it's other arm.

Amethyst didn't remember how she acted- she blocked those memories out, down to her core. There were some things she refused to think about unless they were shaded with rose-colored lens; the kindergarten, Rose, the aftermath of the war were all some of those things.

The purple gem fixed her eyes on the screen door, and paced toward it- finding her hand trembling ever so slightly as she reached for the knob.

"Amethyst? Where are you going?"

She turned around to see the young boy, poised at the middle of the staircase just below his bed, rubbing his eyes. It was still dark out, he should have been asleep.

"O-Oh, yo, Ste-man! I'm going on a food run, wanna go?" Amethyst smiled, turning her back to the door, feeling her long hair brush against the screen, the sharp twangs of static causing her to stir.

"But it's so late, nothing is open right now," Steven mused, descending the stairs to peer out the window. It was the thick of the night, probably two in the morning. "Is something wrong?" He looked over at the purple gem, trying to study her through an unfocused sleepy haze. "You're not going out to go fight as Purple Puma again, are you?"

"No, no. Puma's retired now, living the good life alongside a millionaire," Amethyst retorted with a grin. She stretched, bringing her arms across her chest at the elbow, and yawned. She met Steven's gaze, and followed it to the sky outside. "It's gonna rain later."

"How can you tell?" Steven asked, stepping a bit closer to the window, squinting his eyes so he could see if there were any looming clouds.

"I can just feel it," The purple gem explained, cupping a hand over her chest. "It kind of aches, the way humans do when it storms." Her words fell, lighter than a feather over the hushed household, yet they felt weighted like stone, and she was afraid of an earthquake.

"Amethyst, are you okay?" Steven asked, as he walked over to the kitchen, and grabbed a tea kettle setting on the counter. Sometimes, when he was sick or feeling bad, Pearl would make him tea to warm his insides so he could feel good again. He figured all Amethyst needed was a little tea.

"Yeah, I'm good. I think I just need some fresh air before it starts really coming down." She opened the screen door, and shut it softly behind her, as she paced over the deck. Her gem glowed brightly as she shifted her form into an owl, and flew up to the lighthouse above the temple, where she shifted back into her natural form and sat with her legs dangling.

Amethyst wasn't sure if she was lying about the rain. She wasn't sure about Steven- she wasn't sure about a lot of things. She slept a lot, but she wasn't sure if it was because sleeping felt good or because sleeping meant not having to be awake. She wasn't sure if she ate a lot because food was delicious or because it helped make her feel real. Her gem ached again, and she lifted her face toward the sky, placing her palm over it.

The Crystal Gems were not originally from earth. Gems were never supposed to be harvested- gems were not supposed to be created. It was not natural. And all gems knew all planets had an expiration date. If an expiring planet makes a gem, that meant the gem contains all the same matter the planet does. Did it mean that when earth finally expired, and died, that Amethyst would too? That she was more than human, but not a real gem- that she was some kind of a freak, a monster- that she was a bootleg.

The ache pulsed gently in her chest, and she caught her breath in a twisted, dry sob. She folded her arms over her middle as she pulled her knees in close to her, burying her face from the gaze of the sky, as she trembled.

 _Ca-shulk._

A dull, but deafening sound echoed into the night- the sound of a rock hitting plastic- the sound of a gem cracking ever so slightly. Amethyst jumped- startled, and felt the pain ripple through her being, and she groaned. Her gem had a faint, hairline split through it, like a lightning bolt across the sky. How could this have happened?! She was not injured, nor was she in battle.

She coughed, and grunted again, afraid to touch her own gem, as she forced herself to stand up. She felt mostly normal- none of the side effects of when she had previously cracked her gem. She couldn't force herself to poof inside of it, to retract her physical form, because it was not injured. And deep inside of herself, she feared retracting inside of it, almost as if she feared not coming back out.

Quickly, Amethyst jumped down to the deck of the temple, where inside was Steven, nearly burning himself on a hot tea cup. She remembered the Crying Breakfast Friends stickers Steven loved, and she raced to grab one- picking up the pear sticker- and stuck it to her gem to cover the crack. With a forced grin, she held up the sheet and pointed to her sticker.

"Look, Steven! If we all have one of your stickers, none of us will feel bad. You should go give one to Garnet and Pearl." The purple gem extended out the sticker sheet, giving it to the boy as he smiled and grinned. He put the crying waffle sticker over his own gem, and raced off to the door housing the other two gem's rooms, where he knocked on it and shouted for them to indulge in the wonderful idea Amethyst had.

Another dull throb of ache made the purple gem flinch, but she moved to the kitchen, and began hoarding snacks and sandwiches and chips into her arms. She didn't want to act unlike herself, she didn't want the other gems to find out. They would have thought she was ambushed, or gotten into a fight, or was out wrestling again- all of which wasn't true, but Amethyst had a track record of not being the most truthful.

After a few minutes, Garnet and Pearl settled into the kitchen. Garnet had a sticker on each hand, and Pearl fussed with the sticker on her forehead, like a cat with tape on it's back. However, she complied, and giggled, embarrassed.

"What a fun game you have here, Steven," she praised, approaching the cup of tea set out for her, and wrapping nimble fingers around it to warm her hands.

"Nice sticker." Garnet looked over at Amethyst, who nodded as she stuffed another few barbecue chips into her mouth.

Steven yawned, and Pearl looked out to the window- where she gasped about the time, and insisted that the young boy scurry off to bed right this moment. She followed him up the stairs to his mattress, where she tucked him in, and sat awkwardly to read him one of the stories he always begged her to.

Garnet watched them, before standing up, heading toward her room- before she turned to Amethyst. "Follow me."

"What's up, G?" Amethyst asked, hopping off the counter top as she followed the tall gem. She watched as Garnet's door opened, and she stepped inside, waiting for the small gem to trail after her.

As soon as the door closed, Garnet turned to Amethyst and looked down, the sheen of her glasses stirring unease in the purple gem. "Take off your sticker."

"W-What? Why? That's a waste of a good sticker, I-" but before she could finish, Garnet pealed off the pear, and frowned as she confirmed what she knew.

"Hiding an injured gem is not the way to trust your team, Amethyst." She gently scolded, folding her arms across her chest.

"It's not injured!" Amethyst replied, defensively, stepping back from Garnet. "I didn't do anything stupid, okay?"

"I know." Garnet squatted down, staring at the small fissure in Amethyst's gem. "I know it's hard to believe, but all gems are bound by the same rules. The same emotions that keep Ruby and Sapphire together are the same emotions that can split a gem apart. You mustn't let this consume you."

"Consume me?!" Amethyst felt another twinge of pain shoot through her chest, and she growled. "Real big talk for a big gem- you've had it easy! There's two of you in there to make all your decisions, and at least you know if they're good or bad because you can see the future! I can't!" The smaller gem stepped back, watching Garnet rise to her full stature. "You know where you came from! I don't! I have no idea how I was made, or even why I was kept around! All I know is the one gem who treated me like I was real- like I mattered- was Rose!"

 _Ca-shulk._

Another crack rippled through Amethyst's gem, and she dug her nails into her palms, her fists quaking at her sides.

Tears began dribbling from the purple gem's eyes, pouring down her cheeks and dripping onto the floor just in front of Garnet. Quickly, she turned, and tore out of the others room, running past the kitchen and catching the attention of both Pearl and Steven. Amethyst shoved open the screen door, slamming it behind her, as she took off as a bird, soaring quickly out of sight.

"Amethyst!" Steven screamed, sitting up, attempting to jump out of bed- only to be stopped by Pearl.

"Steven, no. Garnet, what's going on with her?" Pearl stood up, turning to face the tallest gem as she stepped out of her room and stared at the screen door.

"She's upset." Garnet replied, steadying her fingertips on the corner of her glasses as she focused, scanning the future for where the other may have went.

"I can tell that much..." Pearl approached Garnet, and frowned. "But she'll be back, she always has been. I really thought these tantrums of hers would have stopped by now, however..."

"It's not like the other times," Garnet announced, solemnly. "Her gem is cracked."


	2. I'll Be Okay

_Pearl sat in the newly finished living space Greg had helped the gems build, cradling the young boy. Until now, she thought of humans as vile, disgusting creatures unsociable of what gems could do. Steven may not have been entirely human- and he certainly couldn't vouch for all humans- but maybe, they weren't as bad as she thought._

 _Pearl would stare into his eyes, singing songs they had sang on the battlefield to uplift warriors. Normally Rose would be leading the chorus, but now it was Pearl's turn, and she didn't miss a beat. Young Steven curled into her arms, until Pearl's voice began to waver and shake, as she stumbled over the words- and Steven began to wail._

 _Pearl remembered gems wailing, gems shattering. She remembered the sound of canons, and blades against armor, and agony. Her arms began to tremble, jostling the boy further._

 _"You're going to give us away," she hissed, eyes glazed over, a melancholy blue projection seeping from her gem on her forehead to the room around her. Images of thousands of gem scraps being bubbled, miles of land covered in broken soldiers and those still fighting for what they each thought was right._

 _To the left of the projection, Pearl ran toward Rose, whose shield was cracking, her once beautiful locks a mess of dirt and sweat, and left hand shaking far too violently to steady her sword. Pearl jumped in front of the other, arms spread, as she felt a foreign blade penetrate her chest, she sank deep into her gem, only to immediately reappear, and defend Rose once more. She continued acting as a wall, even going as far as to block out Rose's cries to stop. It was the only time Pearl had ever disobeyed a direct command from the larger woman. But if she hadn't, then who would have kept their fierce leader safe?_

 _Steven hollered incessantly, and Pearl snapped- bubbling the child as she would a broken gem, before she hurled the bubble toward the other side of the room. It floated gently up, protecting Steven, though not diluting his cries. Instantly, her projection stopped, and she looked up- her limbs tangling like knots into herself as she began to cry into a frail hand, cupped over her lips. She had failed Rose not just once, but twice. She would never be the sentry Steven needs, just like she was never the sentry Rose once needed._

 _Ca-shulk. The pale white gem split, fracturing, and Pearl fainted soon from there, retreating deep into her gem for weeks. Amethyst and Garnet watched over Steven, and took care of Pearl's gem until she finally allowed herself to take a physical form once again. The time spent in her gem was a little short of something nightmarish, but Pearl never spoke of it- the only thing that mattered now was to take as good of care of Steven as Pearl possibly could, in hopes he would someday forgive her, even if he would never remember what happened._

Pearl gasped, and Steven's eyes widened. "You don't mean...?" Pearl asked, stepping forward, her jaw dropping as Garnet nodded.

"Is she hurt?!" Steven demanded, worriedly, "We have to go find her! Can you use your future vision to predict where she is?" The young boy looked up at the tall, square gem, who shook her head.

"Future vision is like a menu, Steven. I can see from many different options, based on hundreds of possible calculations. But Amethyst is a wild card. She doesn't act out of reason, especially when upset. I have a few guesses, but we don't have the time to waste chasing geese." Garnet explained, and summoned her gauntlets, before turning to walk toward the warp pad in the middle of the temple.

"Why would we be chasing geese?" Pearl asked, quizzically, following the tall gem.

"Why do you need your weapon?" Steven asked, watching the warp pad light up, as it sucked them into the rift between space and time and place and matter.

"One of the possibilities of Amethyst is that she will not answer to reason, and the only way to get her to detach from her physical form is to literally knock her out of it." Garnet explained, watching as the warp pad landed them in the cavernous wasteland that was the remains of the kindergarten, which made Steven shudder.

"Why would she need to poof? I mean, there's nothing wrong with her form." Steven mused, following behind Garnet, but Pearl walking steadily by his side- a tactical formation should Peridot or any rogue homeworld gems notice their presence and try to spring an attack. It was the last thing the gems needed at the moment, but it wasn't a possibility completely ruled out. 'Enemies don't appear when it's convenient, thus one must be always ready', according to Pearl.

"An injury to your gem is still a substantial injury, regardless of how it is obtained. You and Rose's tears could only heal so much, after all, most of the healing must come from the gem itself." The square gem paced forward, pausing every hundred or so steps to look around, shushing the pair beside her to try and attempt to locate any signs Amethyst was nearby.

"I hope Amethyst is okay..." Steven sighed. "I wish we would have brought Lion with us."

The trio approached the hole where Amethyst said she first came out of, but to no avail, found it empty.

"Oh, Garnet, where could she be? You don't think..." Pearl frowned, and looked around with disdain.

"No. She is fine. We just have to find her." The taller gem paused, and looked up to the sky, "I think I know where Amethyst is."

The warp pad flashed brightly as the trio found themselves at Rose's fountain, as per Garnet's request. They hushed themselves, and paced toward the open garden. Sitting just in front of the large fountain, in the pool of the statue's tears, was a coiled up Amethyst, stringy hair floating around her.

"Amethyst!" Steven called, rushing from Pearl's side. The young gem jumped into the pond, and waded over toward the gem.

"Ugh, Steven!-" Pearl yelped after him, but frowned, looking over at Garnet who simply shook her head, signaling the thin gem to remain still.

"Are you okay?" Steven asked, kneeling down by Amethyst. "We went running after you. Everyone's worried." He looked at her, the way she held her knees to her chest, the sense of abandonment flooding her general aura.

"Why did you come here?" She asked, not pealing her forehead from her forearms. "Why do you even bother?"

"Because I care about you. And so did my mom. And you're kind of my mom in a sense, too, the same way Pearl and Garnet are." Steven explained, sitting criss-cross in front of the purple gem.

"I can't be your mom, Steven." Amethyst's voice cracked, and she tightened her grip around her knees. The shadow of Rose Quartz loomed over them as the sun began to set.

"You're fun like one. And you're nice, and really strong too-"

"Knock it off, Steven!" Amethyst cried out, standing up, taller than the boy, breaking Rose's shadow with her own. The gems behind her tensed, ready to react should they need to.

"I-... I'm not what you think I am! I wasn't 'designed' to be your friend! I was made to be a weapon, and somehow that didn't happen! I have an expiration date, I was a product of war, a-and... And you just don't get it! You won't have to worry about out-living the only friends who ever believed in you, but knowing you won't live long enough to actually matter! I am just one big mistake!" She yelled, fists clenched at sides- tears bubbling down her cheeks, rolling into the pond around her. Her fractured gem trembled as her chest shook.

"Amethyst!" Pearl yelled, and Garnet grunted, extending an arm to silence the other, who huffed and folded her arms across her chest. "She can't just act like this, Garnet! It's not fair to us, or Steven!"

"It's not our place right now." Garnet replied, quietly. "You have to remember Amethyst is at most the same relative age as Steven is in human years. She is just a child to us. A lot has happened in her life; the same way Ruby is to Sapphire was the same way you were to Rose. Amethyst never had a second half, even if yours was taken away." The taller gem looked over at Pearl as she spoke, and saw the other turn her head away in a defensive scoff. "Everyone doubts whether someone believes in them at some point. The way we handle this now will affect whether or not she will believe it for the rest of her life." Garnet added.

"I don't get it." Steven answered, as he stood up, keeping his gaze locked on the silhouette of his mother's statue. "I'm not a gem like you are, at least, not all the way. I get scared about what people want me to be sometimes, too. But you meant a lot to my mom, I can feel that."

The water in the pond began to glow a soft pink, and Steven clenched his hands into tight balls.

"I don't know what happened all in the war. I don't know if we won like Pearl told me. I don't know much about the kindergarten or homeworld or why Peridot has it out for us. I don't know a whole lot but that can't stop me from being a Crystal Gem."

Steven crossed the gap between he and Amethyst, his gem glowing bright underneath the hem of his tee shirt. He looked across at her, a fierce determination roaring in his eyes- small stars, flickering like his mother's used to. He reached up, his palm radiating a bright pink physical aura, and placed it over her gem.

Amethyst's eyes widened, and flashed with stars, as her mind flashed a bright white, like lightning blinding the sky, and she was taken back; flooded with flashbacks of battle-scarred front lines. Of hundreds of gems, armed and poised at the ready, screaming. Of metal scraping against metal, of the horrid sights of shattered gems laying strewn over the field. But she was also filled with courage, the loyalty of Rose to her army, and vice versa. She was flooded with the feeling of love, and happiness. Of childlike wonder, of the bravery of millions, and strength. She felt her chest swell with companionship, and most of all, she could smell Rose's hair. Steven pulled his hand away, and wrapped her in a tight hug, his own tears leaking from the corners of his eyes.

"Please never feel like we don't care, Amethyst. We do. You were made for a reason, and it's one of the best reasons I've ever known. You don't have to be a mom, but you can be my friend."

Pearl watched in awe, and stumbled back. "Garnet, I... I have to go." She murmured, before the warp pad lit up brightly and sent her back to the temple.

"I promise, Steven..." She hugged him back, and sighed, wiping the tears on her face away. "I'll be okay."

The two turned around, to face Garnet, and Steven grinned. Amethyst's newly healed gem sparkled as the light caught it- revealing a new inner confidence, and a new found strength, which made Garnet nod and smile.

"Okay."


End file.
